What is Temper Tantrum and especially among young kids.

What is Temper Tantrum and especially among young kids.

Temper tantrums are referred as an emotional and physical “meltdown”.

This is common in the children of 2 to 4 years old.

By Mahmood Hussain 09th January 2018, write articles and blogs to be published in www.babyfirst.com.pk BABY FIRST PAKISTAN and on Facebook/babyfirstPakistan and other social media such as LinkedIn, Twitter and so on. The writer is from Karachi, Pakistan Currently he is in Philadelphia, USA. In this week of January 2018 (Happy New Year) mostly temperature was in negative Celsius all day. It is observed from -02 to -19 Celsius. It is freezing in Philadelphia and US Eastern Region which includes New York, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Washington and Mary Land.


This topic of temper tantrums is highly important for the parents. This appears within 2-4 years mostly. This is development and growth stage of the child. As a writer, it was a tough topic for me to express, difficult to fully understand and write on the subject. Secondly, it is important to express in the right context. I have put my best effort to gather material and authentic references to express and elaborate on the subject

This is regarding the upbringing of the young babies. Understanding of their mood swing or rapid change in the behavior of the child. This will be of immense help for the parents and how to manage this attitude in children if it arises or parents observe in toddlers.

The temper tantrum is referred to the condition such as meltdown, angry or outbursts within the child. It is associated with an emotional condition and which appears in distress condition.

This attitude can be recognized by screaming, crying, stubbornness, angriness, the attempt of resistance, also with NO attitude. In few cases, it is observed in form of hitting or violent behavior. In such conditions, the physical control is lost and appears in highly agitating, despite you are giving or offering him/her what they are looking for and demanding for it. Despite your adjustable, comprising and loving attitude they are not calming down. This may reflect in outburst, which may be extended over prolonged angry /crying period, or it may appear in violent behavior and may use abusive language.


The temper tantrum is rather an emotional attitude. This may be of sudden onset and sometimes this appears also with violent behavior. The period may be of short duration and it is normally over quickly.

As a parent you are playing and enjoying with your child outside the home, they are also enjoying the atmosphere and companionship outside the house and in the next minute baby start moaning or sobbing and pulling parents to go home.


Facts regard to the temper tantrums in toddlers.

The temper tantrum is the common behavior, which is normally observed among the children of age between 2-4 years. This is quite frustrating and annoying for parents. In such situation, toddlers normal desire or wish for independence are linked with immaturity in the child. They are term as lack of mental development.

In such situation of temper tantrum or behavior of a child, the parents need to be calm and have patience, not to adjudge or reward their behavior. The best way is keeping yourself away from a child in temper tantrum condition. Which will ultimately cool down the child.  As a parent, you must take time out which may prove a fruitful methodology.

The strategy to exit has been a successful methodology in managing temper tantrums. To get it realize a positive/good behavior is expected of them and same will be rewarded. Let the child realize to choose it and same behavior will be appreciated and awarded by parents

If the temper tantrum condition lasts for a longer period that is of more than five minutes duration or frequently which include violence, and this may be directed at younger or junior children (maybe to the younger sibling).  This means alarm bell is ringing and warning sign.  In such condition, parents should show the child to the pediatrician and let him/her assess the condition and observe the child behavior pattern.


What are the causes of a temper tantrum in the toddlers.

The child when he/she is young is full of egocentric or egoistic ideas. They also prefer to live in their own world. Accordingly, they reflect the attitude which is, I want it and as per my wish/timetable. Such behavior of toddler is term as selfish and self-centered. This is expressed in the shape of broken /babbling words also non-developed language. It is difficult to understand their expressive language, which is much different from the adult as well as four or more-year-old baby’s way of communication.

Due to this egocentric attitude they force or try to compel us with their “I “want it approach. This attitude is combined with toddler way of communication, which is incomplete, they are unable to fully express and also not fully developed language skills which means they speak two or three words or broken sentences. At this stage of life cycle, they will be able to express their thought which they communicate to us in two or three words and their vocabulary is also of limited words.

At this stage of life, their world is full of discovering and busy in exploration.

The toddler is with numerous skill but their ability to judge is limited.  At this stage of life of 2-4 years, they learn by observation and repetitive scenario which they see in their surround.

As the parent, we try to provide an environment of safety, calm and protected. Whereas the toddler is in the exploration stage and looking for autonomy/independence with their limited language ability. This is totally opposite approach by the toddler and this result in shape of the temper tantrum to full fill what they have perceived and trying to achieve it.


Management of handling temper tantrum in toddler by parents.

This has been evolved and developed in years by the experience of parents, doctors and psychologist. It is suggested and proposed how to deal with temper tantrums in toddlers.  Below are few suggestions which will help parents.

Be calm and compose of the situation and don’t draw yourself into the stream of emotions and ensure to avoid angry attitude.  In this situation, if you are at home, try to communicate you do not understand him or her and request to give me time.


Parents need to know how to manage temper tantrums in toddler stage,

This has been formulated in the form of suggestions over the years of experience and observations by psychologist and parents. The main feature doesn’t stick up in the emotional stream. This means parents need to act and not to react in the arising temper tantrum situation. First and foremost, important for the parent  is to be calm, have control on your emotion and anger whether you are at home or outside of the house. Try to let her/him know you are unable to understand what he/she is looking for. The second good alternative is to leave the place, also communicate him when cools down then you will listen and understand his need or demand. If as a parent managing out of control child which means that managing rough attitude or stubborn baby which reinforce difficult to manage behavior.

The best way to cope up with the situation is to try to distract young toddler or redirect the attention, It has been observed most of the time this strategy works in young toddler, if a child is old than likely it is difficult to distract or divert his / her focus. In such situation, parents need to reinforce discipline but it should be brief, and the message should be clear and loud. Verbal clear communication in respect to the breach of discipline is very important for the child.

We need to realize the temper tantrum reflected by the child is the test of our skills and our limits of patience and how we are emitting or expressing our frustration. The real test will be when they are outside with us and place such as grocery store or in the bazaar or at a checkout counter in superstores where a child will persist or stick to his liking and needs to have the selected picked or liked items. As parents it has been observed more frustrating for them when this appears in common public places, they have to face such situation, and this leads to frustration because of temper tantrum child attitude.


Do parents have to punish their toddlers for having the temper tantrum?

The temper tantrum is common among children of 2-4 years along with the growth and development of the child at this stage of life cycle. This is probably due to lack of expressive language or communication skills as compared to older age child. They find this method more successful and expressive to full fill their need or desires. In this stage of the lifecycle, parents do need to be patience and play role model role of the good person. If parents reflect anger in this stage may be by raising their voice level, use physical violence or taking out their anger in shape of throwing or pushing objects nearby to the child or in their surround. Child do have very strong observation power and later stages they follow the parents and they also reflect how to handle frustration.

Though parents job is very tough to manage temper tantrum in a toddler as a parent and grown-up citizen we all need to have patience and calmness to overcome situation which may arise occasionally. Baby is baby and we as parent are adult and need to act maturely,


Article written by Mahmood Hussain for Baby First Pakistan website, Facebook, twitter, LinkedIn and other popular social media

About Mahmood Hussain

Professional Experience More than 36 years work experience in Healthcare & Pharmaceutical sectorDirector & General Manager Baby First (Pvt.) Ltd Pakistan March 2011 – till to date I have been associated with Baby First (Pvt) Ltd for more than 5 years. It is advisory, community and social interaction medium for parents 16-38 years and babies 0-6 years.General Manager Aga Khan Health Service Pakistasn December 2005 – December 2007 (2 years 1 month)Based at Karachi Pakistan Worked as General Manager managing Karachi & Baluchistan Health care services of AKHSP which includes primary and secondary health care centers and diagnostic centers on all areas nearly 102 centers which include three leading hospitals in Karachi.General Manager Janssen Cilag (Johnson & Johnson) February 1998 – January 2005 (7 years)Education MBA, Marketing 1995 – 1996, Preston University MSc, Biochemistry 1970 – 1974, Karachi University

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