How to communicate and train your child on child abuse.
Empowering Your Child and Prevent Abuse.
The parent should be open to positive communication and be the close friend of your children.
By Mahmood Hussain, Monday 9th February 2018, write articles and blogs to be published in www.babyfirst.com.pk BABY FIRST PAKISTAN and also on Facebook/babyfirstPakistan and other social media such as LinkedIn, Twitter and so on. The writer is from Karachi, Pakistan Currently he is in Philadelphia, USA.
Now on day to day basis and since 15 January 2018 in Pakistan the print media and electronic media has focused on child abuse incidences. This caught attention after the serious crime of child abuse of a 7year baby, Kainat and she was later killed by culprits at Kasur, Pakistan, the trend is prevailing mostly after doing sex with juniors the culprit also killed the victims, in this case, it was an innocent 7year baby girl. Social media also played the vital role in creating high-intensity noise level among masses, ruling elites, government authorities, as well as suo-motto notice, was taken by the superior court. She is one of the sufferers. Already reported, “11 cases of child abuses per day are reported in Pakistan.” It is very difficult to estimate the overall incidence of Pan Pakistan because of the unreported cases or silent innocent victims.
We are highly thankful to Dr. Maria Moochala a clinical psychologist based at Karachi with the special interest in child psychology and child abuse.
She is delivering the lecture and creating awareness on Child Development in all level within the school. Doctor Sahiba is especially focusing to create awareness among children /teachers of the kinder garden, nursery and primary level. This is an excellent initiative by Dr. Moochala to educate children teachers and parents with the collaboration of kinder garden, Montessori and primary schools. This, the start the journey but what really need is the government support to implement on all Pakistan. The educational authorities need to incorporate this subject in school curriculum by looking into the need and handling social taboos and pressure. Here I would like stress is to save our beloved from children from abuse whether it sexual abuse or torturing or beating our innocents and adorable assets.
One of my friend’s wife very recently attended her talk in one of the topmost and leading kinder garden located in Clifton, Karachi. The topic was “Empowering Your Child and Preventing Abuse.”
I have already written an article on 15th January 2018 with a headline “Protect children from abuse and maltreatment.” and highlighted in it Child abuse and violence occur mostly between the age from 2 to 14 years.
Bhabhi (wife of my friend) was kind enough to share and forward me the gist of Dr. Moocha recent presentation and I personally thought it is worth sharing, inform and communicate to the viewers, especially engaging the parents who will play the vital role. Currently, I am in Philadelphia USA likely to stay another two months. I am unable to obtain consent from Dr. Moocha and I am quite sure she will excuse me as a good gesture.
Below mentioning are the eleven points which she covered in her talk.
“Empowering Your Child and Preventing Abuse. “
- We all need to work on providing the safe environment to the children at home. Also, cultivate and cherish open way of communication with your child. In this way, our child feels secure and will be able to easily communicate and can relate any incidence of abuse directly to us.
- If the child either he or she is not willing to allow physical affect to you as a parent such as a hug and kisses, please refrain for the time being and this is an ok attitude.
- We as the parent need to talk and explain to our child what is good/joyful and the bad surprise party which results in physical bad touch or the child loses his/her dignity.
- The body exploration is perfectly natural and should be warned against, as long as you explain that is only to be done in private.
- Know the signs: and usually reticent demeanor, sudden dis-interest in what he/she enjoyed before, a sudden drop in school grades sudden clinginess, stomach ache. and UTI
- The sooner children dress, bathe, or use the washroom his/herself the better. The more independent he/she is In carrying out such a task. The fewer chances of an adult (staff or other) getting too familiar.
- Decrease the ratio of one-on-one time spent with caretakers (staff or other) and conduct surprise visits when your child is left regularly with another.
- Impart explicit definitions to your child on good touch ‘vs’ bad touch’ so he /she will know when to alert you to him/her being made to feel uncomfortable.
- When your child approaches you to relate any incidence of abuse (emotional or physical) to be shocked is normal. But make sure you demonstrate that you are shocked what happened rather with your child’s behavior.
- Do not interrogate your child when she/he comes forward with a complaint of abuse. Do not demand specifics; these will be offered in time by your child him/herself when he/she feels comfortable enough. Keep reiterating to he/she that it took a lot of courage to speak up.
- Overcoming abuse is a process and takes time to be dealt with correctly. Do not make false promises to your child, such as — we don’t talk about it beyond the immediate family, it will go away. Therapy must be sought from counselor and physician (in regard for physical abuse)
It is a very important point to be noted, an abuser is almost always likely to be a friend or a family member your child is already close to, so when you warn your child on ‘Strange danger’ do alert him/her that even a loved one can be an improper way of affection.
Article is written by Mahmood Hussain for Baby First Pakistan website, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and other popular social media